Long time ......

It's been a crazy, blessed, busy year. My daughters and I are looking forward to a new Autumn season, while enjoying the rest of summer.

Where life has taken us.......

Well, the Lord opened the door for my two youngest to attend a local private school, we are all looking forward to that! I've come to terms with the fact that my season of home-schooling has come to an end and may never be a journey I walk again. At times I'm full of sorrow thinking how fast my children have grown up, yet I'm so excited to be a part of watching them grow into Godly young women.

This summer we've spent quite a bit of time visiting Epilepsy specialists in Cleveland. It's been a long road trying to find the right medicine for Ms.Angel and Ms.Sav (not their real names) that will control their seizures without a lot of side effects. I'm praying that the new medicine that they are both on will be well tolerated, right now they are both experiencing headaches and upset stomachs. The doctors said that over time both symptoms should diminish.

Pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to Him for the lives of your children. ~ Lamentations 2:19

Last week was Ms.Sav's week to stay at Rainbow Babies and Children for observation and testing. Within 24 hours of taking new medicine her tests showed a decrease in seizures, we are praising God!

In August it will be Ms.Angel's turn to stay for a week. I pray that the Lord will always remind me of a few things:

1. That He is God and controller of everything.

2. That He is bigger than my problems, heartaches and doubts.

3. That He is not surprised when 'life' takes a different turn than what His children expect.

4. That He is my personal Savior; my Prince of Peace...and is always willing and able to walk this journey with me.

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ~ Romans 15:13

Life Never Stays the Same

How I Know I'm Going To Heaven


I was very blessed to be raised in a Born Again Christian home, where my parents walked the walk and not just talked the talk. I was one of the lucky kids to be able to go to a Christian school for a few years. I didn't realize how important those few years would be until I was much older.

I got saved when I was 5 years old. I remember learning about who Jesus was and what hell was like and that Jesus came to save me. I knew everyone was a sinner and that meant me too!

One night at church I told my dad that I needed to go ask Jesus in heart and to forgive me of my sins because I didn't want to go to hell. I was a good girl but not good enough! http://www.livingwaters.com/good/

I remember getting baptized too! That was scary and cool! I thought I was going to drown in the baptismal but mom reassured me that I would be fine :)

FAST FORWARD:

I found myself a 25 year old married women with 5 kids and a lousy marriage. Trying to attend college full time...be the bread winner and trying to change so husband would 'change'. I carried the weight of my teen year choices and felt I needed to change everything that was wrong. Some how 'fix' everything that was broken.

JULY 4, 2001
It was a beautiful sunny, warm day outside, but inside...it was a cold, stoney, and full of stress. Trying to figure out how I could enjoy that day I brushed a side the marital turmoil and took the kids outside to enjoy the sun. I figured we had each other and the Lord had a plan.

It was the first time in a long while I was able to finish a book in one setting! It was titled "The Prayer of Jabez". I don't remember too much of the book (sorry it's been 10 years ago that I read it!) but I do remember what happened by the last page.


The 4 older kids were playing in the fenced in yard and baby Hannah was on my lap. As I lay the book aside I was completely convicted that I was doing the job of the Lord. It was clear that I had taken on the responsibility of being in charge of everything for everyone, not that any particular person ever asked me too.


The Lord was with me that day. I remember talking to Him (not in an audible voice) reassuring me that He still loved me and that I hadn't ruined anything.

It was done! I rededicated my life and haven't looked back.

That night my old daughter and I were able to watch the fireworks from our backyard. It was a great ending to a perfect day!

TESTS!

I was never any good at taking tests...mostly I passed but not without anxiety, stress or lack of courage. Multiple choice and True or False were the worse! It's ironic how God uses tests in the lives of His children. Once such test had came at Thanksgiving that year.


GRACE

Hannah Grace was 14 months old and not doing to well. Known of the 5 doctors could figure out why she kept getting sick. Always doubting what to treat her for...she'd take well to antibiotics most times. Other times she'd need at home breathing treatments every few hours.

Thanksgiving wasn't real great, we stayed home with the 5 kids that day. I couldn't get Hannah to eat anything for me. I called my doctor while he was at home and he said to bring her in the next day.

The weekend was sad.

Sunday came. We sat at the ER for over 12 hours, Hannah slowly lost consciousnesses. Me and her, alone in the room with the door shut and quietness.

Jesus was there.


New doctor arrived on his shift. A heart specialist! He called Life Flight right away. Hannah woke up and smiled (after sleeping for 12 hours) at me, my mom and husband before being lifted in the helicopter.


Monday the sunrise was so bright and beautiful. A reminder of a new day.

Hannah went home. Jesus was there.


TODAY:

You can see Hannah's smiling face in most pictures throughout my home. She is a physical reminder of God's promises. Promises made flesh through Jesus Christ. No one else. Just Jesus!

Who's Jesus to you?
http://www.cbn.com/stepstopeace/



Being a single mom is tough. Jesus is here! That means I'm not alone.

xoxo

Steph

Life's Measuring Stick of Fairness

There's one statement that gets my attention faster than anything else I've heard and that's the "It's not fair" statement.

You know, the one your children have probably thrown at you in the heat of the moment when you ask them to clean the bathroom and they feel its not "fair I have to clean the families bathroom, its not my mess" statement.


I answer my children in a stern, loving, truthful way and say

"Life isn't fair and it's not circus either."

They actually hate when I say that! There's a lot of truth in that statement, after all, isn't a fair and a circus purchased entertainment where you get to sit on the sidelines and pay the performers to entertain you (to serve you)?

I know I don't want to be the one sitting on the sideline of life. I want to be out there being who God created me to be. I don't want to pay someone to do my service for me...besides when you are the one out their serving you are being entertained by something much more profound...something deeper in your soul than entertainment can bring.


SOAPBOX BREAK?
Besides, who created life's "fairness" measuring stick? I've never seen one that appeals to me. If life is fair for me, does that mean its not fair for someone else? Doesn't each individual decide what they deem is fair for their own life? I know I wouldn't want someone to tell me what they think fairness for my life should or shouldn't be, would you?

QUESTION BREAK

*Was it fair that Jesus had to die on a cross to pay for my debt of sin?
*Was it fair that Jesus had to be separated from God during the time of His crucifixion so I (you, the whole world) could go to Heaven?
*Was it fair to the parent who's child died, through no fault of their own?

ENDING
My goal as a parent is to get my children to see how selfish the "Its not fair" statement is and to take their eyes off of their self and see the world how another person views it. To have a servants heart and not live life on the sidelines thinking they hold "Life's Measuring Stick of Fairness".